KANYE WEST DEAD!!

Okay, so he's not really dead, but "RIP Kanye West" was a trend on Twitter earlier today (and was still up there at least check a couple hours ago.)

This gets minus 4 points for not being true -- partly because I hate him, but mostly because it's gotta suck to be a friend or family member and see/hear about that and wonder what's going on. Then again, if Kanye was dead, you know his ghost would cut off all the newscasts -- "Yo Imma let you finish, but I just wanted to let you all know I'm dead. But Imma keep makin music in Heaven with Jesus so ya'll can listen when you get up here. KANYE UNIVERSITY 4EVA!!"

Or something like that.

Beyonce speaks about Kanye

I dunno about you, but ever since the VMAs when Kanye was a total idiotard, I've wanted to hear what Beyonce had to say about him storming the stage and basically taking a steaming sh*t on Taylor Swift's moment.

Beyonce gets plus 6 points for saying that when she saw Kanye go up on stage, she "was like, 'No, no, no!'" and also for being "like, 'Oh, no, no, no!'" when he opened his big annoying mouth.

Kanye and Gaga tour cancelled

This show has been built up for SO long and been built up SO huge that you knew something had to go wrong. And it has. The planned Kanye/Lady Gaga tour has been cancelled. Not postponed, not delayed, but straight up cancelled. And rumor has it that it's all because of Kanye's antics at the VMA's a few weeks ago.

Minus 8 points goes to Kanye for being a totally self-absorbed, cocky, thoughtless, brainless, heartless, assh*ley f*ckbag.

If Kanye doesn't stop apologizing, I'm gonna castrate him

Well, Kanye West is apologizing AGAIN for his idiotarded jackassedness at the VMAs on Sunday when he interrupted Taylor Swift's acceptance speech for Best Female Video. The first time was a blog posting (that apologized but kinda didn't, too) while the VMAs were still being aired. The second was another blog posting a few hours after that. The third was his appearance Monday night on The Jay Leno Show. But his fourth apology was finally the one he should've done from the start -- he called Taylor and apologized to her directly. Of course, this was after Taylor was on The View yesterday saying she hadn't heard from Kanye personally, and Whoopi Goldberg said that he should do the right thing. And to his d*ckbag credit, he did.

So, plus 5 to Kanye for doing the right thing. Actually, who am I kidding? I hate Kanye...the plus 5 goes to this hopefully being done and over with.

Obama slams Kanye

During an interview with CNBC's Terry Moran, President Obama made an off-the-record comment about Kanye's idiotardedness at the VMAs on Sunday, and actually called Kanye a jackass, which totally gets a plus 40. Of course, Terry posted it up on Twitter right away, because it's not everyday you hear a President call someone a jackass.

But since he's too busy watching the VMAs and worrying about what Kanye did to Taylor Swift instead of worrying about the sh*tty economy and the whole health care mess (which I haven't paid attention to since I hate politics, but I should probably start since I'm an adult and shizz), he gets a minus 48, for an overall score of minus 8.

Kanye almost cries like a biatch on Leno

Plus 4 goes out to Jay Leno for almost making Kanye West cry last night on the debut of his new primetime show. Jay was talking to Kanye about his douchebaggery at the VMAs on Sunday night when he busted out the "what would yo' momma think?" question! Of course, Kanye got all emotional since his Mom died back in November 2007 and felt like he did his mamadukes wrong. Check out the almost-tears in the video below.

Perez trashes Kanye

Perez Hilton was interviewed by Ryan Seacrest yesterday about Kanye's antics at the VMA's a couple nights ago, and he basically said that Kanye was sh*tfaced and all over the place, which he said was ironic because he heard Kanye doesn't drink.

A combined minus 21 goes out to this one for us even still talking about Kanye's idiotarded ass, and for the fact that anyone gives a sh*t about what Perez's annoying ass says.

MTV Video Music Awards: Kanye West's Apology to Taylor Swift

This years VMAs were exciting... thanks to Kanye West!!! He became "the bad guy." Like when Andre the Giant ripped Hulk Hogan's cross off in 1987, he instantly became the show's (and the Twitterverse's) instant @$$hole.

He jumped onstage during Taylor Swift's acceptance speech for 'Best Female Pop Video,' grabbed Taylor's mic, and said that Beyonce should have won, then handed the mic back to Taylor (who was awe-struck as to what happened).

Then people started boo'ing Kanye out the building whenever he was nominated.

My question... why??? Why would Kanye get so emotionally involved in Beyonce's music? In the past everytime he's looked like a tool it's been to better himself. Why do something so drastic for someone else?

My thoughts:

A) Kanye thought HE was Beyonce for a moment and got pissed off. Gotta lay off the Robitussin, Kanye.

B) Publicity stunt by MTV to combat decreasing ratings for the VMAs. 2 big stars... big money = big ratings.

C) Taylor Swift and MTV publicity stunt: Label is trying to push Taylor Swift "You Belong With Me" to #1. It's down spins nationally. MTV needs ratings. Perfect storm. Pay Kanye to be the bad guy (and get press) and put Taylor down - as lovable as she is. As a result people talk about the VMAs, Taylor makes it to #1, and Kanye still seems unpredictable... and everyone wins.

By the way minus 300 points to Kanye West for being the biggest ass in award show history and setting himself further back than mesozoic plantlife. Douche.