Andrew Lloyd Webber has cancer

Andrew Lloyd Webber announced that he has prostate cancer over the weekend. Luckily, the doctors caught it early and rumor has it he'll be back to work by the end of the year.

I was originally gonna throw out a minus 3 to ALW for having horrible plastic surgery (oh hi there, Mickey Rourke lips), but I felt guilty, so the minus 3 goes to cancer sucking ass.

Kathryn Joosten recovering from lung cancer

Plus 9 points and get well soon wishes go out to Desperate Housewives' star Kathryn Joosten after having a growth removed from her lung yesterday. Doctors said she's recovering real well and "should be back to her feisty self in no time."

Drew Carey wants to kill cancer

Plus 7 props go out to Drew Carey, who is using Twitter as a sort of fundraiser for cancer. After reading a Tweet from a guy named Drew who was encouraging people to donate amounts of over $10,000 toward cancer research, Drew Carey said he's willing to donate $25,000 -- then said he'd donate $100,000 if he can reach 100,000 followers on Twitter by November 9.

So go follow Drew! You can get to his account by clicking right here!

Desperate Housewives star has lung cancer

Well, a day after we lost Patrick Swayze to pancreatic cancer, I have the horrible mispleasure of telling you about Desperate Housewives star Kathryn Joosten (she plays Mrs. McCluskey) having lung cancer. But the odds are in her favor, because back in 2001 she ended up surviving a battle with the same disease. So even though we're pulling for her to go all Stone Cold Steve Austin and open up a can of whoop ass on it again, this still gets a minus 6 because, well, cancer sucks balls.

Maura Tierney drops out of new show

Maura Tierney announcing yesterday that she was going to bow out of her new show Parenthood so that she can undergo cancer treatment gets a minus 7. Don't get me wrong, I'm glad she's getting treatment and hope she bounces back, but she's definitely got some talent and it's always sa-weet to see her on the big and small screens.