Adam Lambert performs at AMAs

Adam Lambert made his debut performance (as an actual signed artist, obviously) last night at the AMAs. And by performance, I mean he pretty much had a gangbang on-stage for 4 minutes. He madeout with a chick, grabbed another chick's vag, simulated a blowjob with some dude, and did a lot of Michael Jackson pelvic thrusts.

I'm gonna give this a minus 4 just because...well...I feel violated. And I don't mean my views on appropriate stuff, because God knows I'm uber inappropriate. But I literally feel like I just watched clothed porn.

P.S. No straight guy would've gotten away with any of the stuff he did onstage without backlash. And I'm still creeped from the virtual skullf*cking he did onstage with that dude.

Couples Retreat posters in UK

Minus 8 to whoever makes the movie posters in the United Kingdom, because they left out the black couple in the posters for Couples Retreat. They said it was no hard feelings and they just wanted to "simplify" the posters.

Some PR dude is out of a job over there, I'll tell you that much.

Dave Letterman and wife step out

I'm no Channing Tatum, but I gotta give a minus 4 to Dave Letterman's wife Regina for not looking all that attractive. I mean, props to him for going to for someone who must have a kickass personality since he could've done the whole "rich guy dates hot tanned blonde" deal, but yeah...not feelin her.

Then again, her name is Regina, so at least her name matches her looks.

Brangelina "date night"

Brad and Angelina had a "date night" over the weekend and went to an art gallery to check out some paintings and shizz.

Minus 5 points for this TOTALLY not being a date night but actually being a reason to get some pics from the paparazzi. Losers.

Carrie Prejean almost walks out on Larry King

Minus 8 goes out to Carrie Prejean for being the most annoying and douchebaggy guest on Larry King Live last night. While Larry was starting the interview, he asked a question about her lawsuit settlement and she kept refusing to answer. After being shot down a few times, he moved onto a caller, which is when Carrie started taking her mic off and said she was leaving the interview.

Check out the video below and what a stuck up biatch Carrie was being. The thing I don't get -- if you don't wanna talk about anything THAT YOU WRITE ABOUT IN YOUR BOOK, why the hell are you on the show in the first place? Dumb whore.

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Geena Davis looks awful

I used to think Geena Davis was hot back when she was in Thelma and Louise and A League of Their Own. But she gets minus 8 points for looking like she's been celebrating Thanksgiving a little early. Seriously, it looks like she swallowed a turkey whole...without chewing.

Josh Radnor and Lindsay Price split up

Josh Radnor, who plays Ted Mosby on How I Met Your Mother, is back on the market after he and girlfriend Lindsay Price decided to split up. They've been dating since she guest-starred on the show back in August 2008.

Minus 2 to Josh for having as much luck in love as his character on the show does (which is none.)

Jon Gosselin Funny or Die video

This video woulda been totally badass if it was a Jon Gosselin look-a-like who was making fun of the real guy, but it's not. It's just giving him more exposure, which annoys the piss outta me, so Funny or Die gets a minus 7 for feeding the attention whore.

Jon Gosselin Goes Back in Time from Jon Gosselin

Fergie's done with girls

Fergie is giving the ole heave-ho to hooking up with chicks now that she's married to Josh Duhamel. She said that she's had some amazing times with girls and that she doesn't regret them, but that she's not going to have an affair.

Funny, since there's rumors about her husband plowing a stripper making the rounds like crazy. Minus 4 for her getting played, and minus 8 for her kinda looking like Courtney Love in this pic, for a total of minus 12.

Tracy Morgan pisses people off

A bunch of peeps walked out on a Tracy Morgan stand-up routine on Friday night at Carnegie Hall after they said he was getting too raunchy and inappropriate. He apparently made jokes about Obama and his wife putting out the first Presidential sex tape, drugs, sex acts, and porno.

Minus 6 to everyone who walked out for being a huge bunch of vag-bags. You know what you paid for...deal with it.

Joel Madden walks out on interview

Joel Madden walked out on a radio interview with a station in Australia yesterday after the hosts pissed him off. The hosts were trying to test the whole twins' intuition theory by blindfolding Benji and having Joel hold up a picture of Britney Spears getting out of the car with no panties on (and showing her horribly disgusting vagina). Joel got pissy and up and left mid-way through the interview.

Minus 5 points for being a bigger and more grotesque vagina than Britney's is. Have a sense of humor, man.

Susan Boyle will be on Dancing with the Stars

Susan Boyle will be appearing on Dancing with the Stars, but thankfully for anyone with eyeballs that can actually see, we won't have to watch her cut a rug. She's gonna be performing I Dreamed a Dream on an upcoming episode.

Minus 4 for really no other reason than I feel like the whole Susan Boyle ship has sailed. Anyone else agree?

Chris Brown responds to Rihanna's interview

Rihanna's full interview with Diane Sawyer about Chris Brown beating her aired on 20/20 this past Friday night, and Breezy already released a statement reacting to it. Long story short, C*ckbag Brown said he respects Rihanna's right to speak, but thinks it should remain a private matter.

Yeah, he thinks it should remain a private matter because he's a total assh*le and doesn't want his record sales to be killed by people constantly be reminded what a tough guy woman-beater he is. Minus 54 and a go f*ck yourself, Breezy.

Carrie Prejean sex tape

I love when people look like total douchebags, and that's why I'm giving Carrie Prejean a plus 6 for putting up such a fuss and saying how she was treated so unfairly by the Miss California Pageant team, yet when the show her clips of A SEX TAPE SHE MADE, she drops her lawsuit.

Can't wait for that sh*t to hit the Internet so we can all make fun of how douchebaggerific she is.

Kim Kardashian boxes for charity

Kim Kardashian stepped in the ring for charity the other night and got her ass knocked out. Now normally, I'd let her prevail on this one, but after the fight, she said she had a black eye and decided to take a pic of it to post on her website.

Minus 5 to Kimmy because it annoys the piss out of me when people take pics of their injuries just to get some attention and for people to feel bad. "Oh I broke my nose...look at the X-rays!" Not to mention it looks like Kim has eyeshadow on, and not a black eye.

Jon Gosselin walks out on Hailey Glassman during interview

So in keeping up with his attention whoreness and total douchebaggery, Jon Gosselin walked off the set of an interview that he and Hailey Glassman were having on Entertainment Tonight (that will actually air on tonight's episode) after Hailey asked if they were breaking up on national TV. Jon stormed off and said he wasn't going to deal with that now, but then later said he and Hailey are taking a break to see where things go.

I might've backed Hailey in the post about her and Perez, but she gets a minus 7 here for not dumping this total vagbag's ass yet.

Leona Lewis' horrible picture

I wanna start this off by saying that I think Leona Lewis is a knockout and quite possibly one of the best-looking girls I've ever laid eyes on. That being said, I'm giving her a minus 8 for having this HORRIBLY unflattering pic of her hit the 'Net. Seriously...it looks like someone ran up on stage and gave her a donkey punch to the nose (okay, so if you know what a donkey punch is, you know it can't be given to the nose...but just go with my flow here).

I suppose part of the minus 8 can also go to the fact that she had to write lyrics on her hand during her first solo show.

Kate Winslet wins lawsuit

Kate Winslet just won a lawsuit against a British tabloid that ran a story calling Kate Winslet "the World's Most Irritating Actress" and said she was lying about her workout routines. Apparently, that offended Kate enough to sue.

Minus 6 for being a huge vagina, Kate. You may be hot, but that's just...ugh. I hope a Real Housewife of Georgia bitch slaps you.

Kate Gosselin special

So the hour-long special Kate, Her Story aired on TLC last night. I didn't watch it, and I hope most of you didn't either since it's just another crack at the Gosselins becoming total attention whores, and the more we buy into their sh*t, the more they'll be in our faces. (Says the guy who's writing about them right now)

Kate talked about a lot of things, including how she treated Jon like trash. And normally I'd give her credit for it, but she's clearly just throwing on tears for ratings and for people to feel bad for her, and Jon sucks too, so I really don't care about either of them. I just feel REALLY bad for the kids.

Minus 10 for this whole sh*tshow, and I'm hoping it goes away SOON. Check out the special below, because even though I hate both of them, I love you all.

Chris Brown's new album cover

So Chris Brown unveiled the cover art for his new album Graffiti. I'll admit -- I think the album cover is SICK. I dunno why, I just think it's dope and it kinda reminds me of a Michael Jackson album cover.

That said, minus 8 because Chris Brown is still a f*cking douchebag p*ssy, whether he has sick cover art or not.